What do I want in life?

“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.”
- Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

What matters most in life, at the end? Is it having a very successful career? Is it traveling to many places? Is it having vast wealth? Is it getting recognition from people?

I really don't think so.

As my 87-year-old grandpa lead the tarawih prayer tonight, I couldn't help but think about everything that he's been through. He was a general in the air force, he was very strong and independent up until a point where he became a helpless old man, who couldn't even stand straight, couldn't walk without his four-legged crane. 

And I thought about my grandma, who was very beautiful and active, up until a point where her legs are now bent, O-shaped, her knees hurt like hell every time she walks. 

And I thought about my other grandma and grandpa, who have been through so many struggles in their lives, who also went through the joy that is youth, who now do not even have the courage to walk a hundred meter without assistance.

Everyone will grow old, everyone will die. And in the end, successful career, travel record, wealth, recognition, and every worldly thing that you care about will perish with your departure from life.

Then, I believe that what really matters are to spread love and joy and be a useful human being. Sure every good deed you did will vanish from the Earth once everybody that you helped pass away, but isn't it a great deal better than living only to fulfill your desires?

I profoundly believe that your life is not only for yourself. You owe your parents your attention and help. Without them, you wouldn't be here, eating and breathing and being alive. Your grandparents, your siblings--every member of your family (that does you no harm) should be taken care of.

You owe mother Earth for every breath you take and every bit of food you eat. Without her, you wouldn't thrive in this cold, empty, vast universe.

You owe everyone that struggles. Everyone that barely makes ends meet, everyone that does not think pass tomorrow. If you have enough fortune, you owe them a share of it, because everyone deserves to live in prosperity. And most of the time, it's not your fault or their fault that they live in poverty. Sometimes, they have tried hard enough but the fault is in the system that traps people in poverty. 

So be kind, be thoughtful, and be grateful for what you have. Bear in mind that life is temporary, nothing lasts forever. 

Although this may not be true, embed in your heart that if you do good, good will come to you. The world will be a whole lot better place if everybody lives by this jargon.