Becoming

Found a gem on Reddit. Link to post here . My love, if you read this and you want to move forward without me, if it will make you happy, I will support you. I won't make another selfish decision for us.

I have done the unthinkable. I cheated on my boyfriend.  Looking back in retrospect, it is hands down the most evil and stupidest shit I have ever done in my life. I love him so very much, in case it was not obvious on my previous posts. I have spent six years with him, and was planning to spend the rest of my life with him, yet I destroyed our perfect relationship and our perfect life plan. I want to understand why I did what I did so first let's break it down. It started in late May 2021. I was at my last months in Bali before resigning and I was having tons of fun with my friends, and it got to a point where I had too much fun, irresponsibly. I was alone as everybody else went back to their hometowns for Ied al-Fitr. I was lonely, so I asked one of my guy friends (A) to come over to my friend's place and got drunk just the both of us for two nights straight. He dared me to kiss him and I stupidly agreed to it. It wasn't just a kiss, we did other stuff too. Then it went o...