Using my brain to think. Finally.
My closest ones know me for not thinking things through, for not thinking of the consequences of an action. Never really made a risk assessment either. For 24 years of my life, mostly I've been fine. Sure there were consequences of my action, but I have never made a "bad" decision per se because it was never presented in front of me--I've always had good options. Until May 2021. I had a best friend in Bali, a guy friend. Everybody else was not available at that time so I asked him to come to my friend's house, so it was just the two of us. Stupidity #1. Getting drunk alone with a guy friend. I was so confident nothing would have happened. Then he dared me to kiss him. I could have said no, then and there. It was so easy if I only thought of the consequences. But I did not reject him. Stupidity #2. Letting another man (who's not my partner) touch me. Whether my partner would find out/not eventually does not matter. Integrity is everything. Then it continued fo...